Any given day to start

Today is one of those days where I wake up and I feel like I almost don't recognize me anymore. The fact that I can look back and see where I am or how I got here is kinda moot. Before this feeling keeps bottling up more and more I need to actually do something about it otherwise it will explode, and doesn't lead to anything good.
Sigh. The fact that I've neglect feelings or refuse to give myself time to have some outlet really hinders my capacity to do anything. Then so many things accumulate that it seems mind boggling to try to sort through it all. If this doesn't make sense it's probably because of my acute ability to say a lot but not really get to the point.

Where to start? Does it matter? I mean when you got so much crap to sort in your head, your drawer, your garage, etc, anywhere you begin is good. In that respect then, I guess I'll start with what is most recent. This last month or two I've had a lot of ideas and sparks of creativity but for some reason or another I don't do anything about it. Which sucks because I look around me and see people getting a lot of things done. Not paying attention to the fairness or equality of the comparison between me and whoever, I just don't do anything. Gah, I don't even feel like I can make sense of my thoughts. Mm.. I remember when I used to do freestyle writing just for the hell of it. That is what this post feels like, the big difference is I'm not trying to free style. I do think anything that you learn and stop doing sorta rusts and is not as quick/sharp/efficient but the upside is that when you pick it up again it's like picking up the bicycle. Once you learned it, it will come back to you. Such is my writing this day. Such are my thought processes. Such are my actions. Too much freestyle, no control, no pushing of limits, no exercise.

One drawback of having so much stuff kept inside is that when you open up everything wants to come out surging. In my case I can feel exasperated that I can't write it all or that I can't keep up with my thoughts. It's a loss of balance, where I want to release some of the internal pressure but it's too much to control so it all just burst out, in order to stop it all has to be shut. In a world of intentions only actions count. This is my effort to slowly release the clutter and regain balance.

I'm not perfect.

Constantly tumbling and falling to pieces, only to pick them up in the same order. I loathe this habitual gravity that I can't seem to escape.

I want to break free and stop trying to be perfect, I want to try and fail and try again and again.

For I will not be the unachievable but just a little better every day.

A week update

Well, I have been keeping with the exercise well. Only one day that I took off from doing exercise. Also I got an agenda and I started using it right after I got it. I'm really trying to get into good habits. Most of my life I've had someone do a lot of things for me, so you could say I've been spoiled. No more. This is short update because I'm trying to sleep more and it's past my bed time. lol

What's next in 2011

These are my goals for 2011.

Short, simple and to the point.

Health and Fitness
1. Run/Exercise every weekday.
2. Reduce my belly size 39 inches to 36.
3. Reduce and keep weight of 82 kilos (~180 lbs).
4. Complete 100 push-up challenge.
5. Complete the 200 sit-ups challenge.

Academics
1. Learn Spring.
2. Learn CCS3 and HTML5.
3. Read a book per month.
4. Read both grammar books I got in 2010.
5. Help Carolina with one Spanish lesson every weekend.
6. Code in different languages mini-projects that my brother gets.

Health
1. Sleep 7-8 hours daily.
2. Pray/Meditate once per day.
3. Reduce sugar(s) that I eat by half.
4. When given an option for a side dish go for the salad or the healthiest possible.

Development/Tech
1. Setup carlosapg.com
2. Setup main page for carnator.com

Home Improvement
1. 2 Fridays a month spend the evening cooking or baking with Caro.
2. Build my own standing desk.

Time Management
1. Get agenda and use it daily.
2. No more than 5 hours per week on videogames and no more than 1.5 hours per day.

Finance
1. Have a limit of $50 when going out to eat per month.
2. Update our budget to focus even more on building an even stronger savings.

Just being honest.. #001

When I see profile pictures of (grown) people with an infant, the first thing I think of is: "Is that their child?"

Then if it is, I think: "Ok, they are proud to be parents.. cool. I wonder if I'll do that when I have kids of my own.. mm I'm hungry.. etc"

If it's not their kid: "Mmmm.. I don't know.. that can be either very creepy or touching.."

A round-up of 2010

So I'm looking at my goals for 2010 and well, I didn't do good. I'm being upfront on my blog because I want to remind myself of this fact and then work harder this year.

In Technology I did horribly having done none of my goals. The only thing that comes remotely close is having put this blog on a new domain. My domain, w00t! Final score: 5%.

Academics was a little better but still nothing to be super exited about. I did not learn Python per se, but I did code with this language so it's a good start. No mootools. Books I did read a few but not 2 per month as I intended. On Museums  we did visit a couple here in the US and a bunch when we visited Mexico. So here I would give it 50%.

Health... Meh, I think I did good the first half of the year and then after summer I totally failed. 40%.

Gaming. I even didn't do so good on my favorite hobby. While it should be comforting that this is such an optional goal it's something that didn't get completed. So here I got a 50%.

Family, Friends and Entertainment. This is my second best category but still not great. 65%.

Finally, Time and Money Management. This is my best. 80%

And now for some statistics:
Overall completion - 48.33%

2010 yielded more posts for me than 3 years prior in this blog. I'm not including the posts I did on other blogs. So that is good.

Next up, 2011 goals and resolutions.

-C

Introducing... My blog on a carnator.com domain

Indeed my (if any) readers.. Introducing blog.carnator.com

Yes, you've read correctly: Carnator.com. I have the domain I've wanted for a while now. About a month ago I decided to check if it was available and behold! I bought it without thinking about it.

More to follow.. w00t!

-Carnator

Sunday of work

I'm working on a freelance project. It's coming along. I'm actually doing some design work which I haven't done in a loooooong time. I feel inspired to write tho, but I have to work on this. Damn it. Why is it that my inspiration comes at night most of the time.. Music is helping too, my Dream Theather station in pandora plays very good music. It fuels the inspiration. I guess on the flip side I'm channeling my drive towards work.

Inception, must see!

Some times it's alright to break the rules. It's late because Caro and I just came back from watching inception. It's an awesome movie about dreams with elements of science fiction, action, suspense and just weird-ass concepts. It does have some predictive elements but they can be overlooked with the cool effects and pace of the movie. Avatar was a predictive movie, this one not so much. I really liked it and I recommend it.

Friday Anime Nights

My good friend Alex drops by and we watch anime. Today is that day. We are currently watching Macross (because Alex hasn't seen it in it's full Japanese glory), School rumble, and we know we are also watching Highschool of the Dead. This last one is new and it's very impressive.

This weekend Caro and I have plans to finish our dinning table/nook. The set looks good but it's far from finished. There's going to the farmer's market and the possibility of a free-lance project. Then Sunday we are off to the city again to eat at Gracias Madre. 

Good Stuff! I'm putting links now too. Now I must finish reading the Bungie update for Halo: Reach. Aweeesooooooome! 

I lied.

I said I was going to post twice, but alas, I could not. I really did not want to break the 10 pm rule more than what I already had. In fact I'm breaking it right now. My accomplishment for today was to be more focused. I managed to do a lot at work and at home. I felt more energized and as you can see right now, I'm trying to keep up. Keeping it short. Laters.

Awesome, no tracking!

Yeah, I didn't post last night. So I will post twice today. Do you like the new desing? I think it's ok, but not final by any means. The downside is that when I changed it, the tracking for analytics went poof.. yeah, like that, poof..

So it's back now and I'm listening to Tiesto. I saw him live @coachella. It was Fucking® awesome!
Yeah, I know I jam to power/speed/prog/metal but it's good to be open to new things. I'm still avoiding the pop genres, but I'm very confortable with electronica and recently dub-step. Stuff like Tiesto, Benny Benassi, Deadmau5 is good too.

Cheerio!

The 11th Hour

Today's highlight was the documentary The 11th Hour. The title refers to "a time which is nearly too late" and the subject of the film was the environment. I don't encourage piracy but this is something I think deserves to be watched by anyone who has been concerned by the environment at least once. So take some time and youtube it, download it through Netflix or whatever tickles your fancy.

I don't mean to be pushy but Ignorance is not bliss. It's an illusion, deception, falsehood, it's negligence. It's not taking a step forward, it's basically sitting down and rotting. Knowledge is power and yes, power corrupts. But it's not the rule nor the exception. It's a choice. It's how we use the knowledge. Knowledge can be flawed if it's not complete. Some of our great discoveries yielded great results but at the same time they did not have the full knowledge of the consequences. So, if you think about it, sometimes knowledge does not corrupt but rather incomplete knowledge is corrupt itself. Once knowledge is complete our own heart will make use of the knowledge.

Rather than thinking of filling your self of knowledge, be aware. Have awareness of the source, present state, benefits, downsides, consequences and then, make a CHOICE. We always have the power of choice and while we can change our choice, be aware that some choices have permanent effects. It's good if you make a choice for the greater good, remember that sometimes it can be too late.

http://www.youtube.com/user/11thhouraction#p/u/56/7IBG2V98IBY



If you can, if you please, help and let's stop the suicide of our own species. You don't have to do everything, just two things... start do something and spread the word. Take a step.

Enough preaching, peace.

Sunday of Outings

The city (San Francisco) was our setting today. It was a very tranquil day and one of the best things of today was that we ate at a 100% vegan restaurant. It was very very good! It's called the Loving Hut It's highly recommendable even if you are not vegan and just want to take a break from animal derived food. Anyway, I'm breaking the rule of no electronics after 10 because I don't want to miss a post so I'll just go with a cryptic attempt at a poem....

The path of us men is threaded by our failures,

And only a few follow a noble path,

Yet the brotherhood stands.

Forging through pain our lives expand,

There are those who dare not resent,

Yet together we stand.

I saw my brother in not with a righteous attitude,

In the respect of blood I stood by,

I now see him a much better man.

There is hope after all.

Saturday of Normal but with a good end

This Saturday was pretty standard. Wake up, do chores, get some stuff for the cats, revelations, food, drive on the scooter.. wait, what? revelations? Well, it's more of what I know but re-discovered I guess, nothing new but needs to be put into greater light. Far from the praises Caro gives me I have my own internal issues I have to deal with, which one of the reasons I started to write again.
To write, for me, is to reflect and to expand. Something I did not encourage for a long time and has left me 'drifting'. I find it unfortunate but also pathetic that so much time has passed neglecting something which is part of my core. Through writing I reach new ideas and let emotions flow that otherwise are kept locked and cause a mess.
Anyway, tonight we watched "What Dreams May Come". I've wanted to see this for a long time and I finally did. It's very good. I like the visuals and the acting was good. The DVD that we watched had as a special feature with an alternate ending. It was interesting to see but I think the original was better.
Finally it's time to shut down electronics off. Caro and I are starting to really get into the habit of sleeping better and getting up early.

Signing off,
Carlos