Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Of the things that come to mind #9

I long for the sweetest of sensations and deepest of sentiments.

Let me see your shine...

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Of the things that come to mind #8

Take a good look because the I that was you will never see no more.
I am the I will.

Monday, November 28, 2005

Of the things that come to mind #7

What I see is only the begining.
What I dream is what I shine.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Of the things that come to mind #6

You can't expect things to change if you can't expect to change yourself.

Monday, November 21, 2005

The voyage

So a new journey begins, just like the turning of a page to mark the end of a long chapter, and even though the next is different, it's still tied to the previous one...
...But you keep on moving, each footstep taken get's you closer to the end. Not everyone can see it, not anyone can reach it, yet we all have it.

We are what we've been, and always seek the same thing. Whether it's on a plain under the blue sky or on top a hill, our path is rightgeous but we bleed from within...
...No rest is ever given, and no comfort true, sweet words always come with poison and not all kisses are pure.

I can read back as much as I want, but there's no reason to stay stuck on the past. I could allways think of the future and miss and wish for all of today's sensations...
...I would live only in the present, spend a lifetime with no true direction, forsake the pain through history and lessons, obliterate all chances of hope and expectations.

My life's voyage, my heart's intentions, my physical strength, my soul's place, that through Humanness, enables me to reinvent myself with desire. Desire to shine...
...through my past, and shine...
...into the future, and shine...
...with what I learn everyday.

As each of us has the ability to reinvent oneself, we never cease to learn. Should I ever come to say that I'm only one way, then I've stopped the voyage and stopped being myself...
...because I am not voluble, but I evolve. I don't forget, I reminisce. I don't wonder, I think ahead. I don'r resent, I thank. I don't stand, I walk. I don't freefall, I fly. I don't hear, I listen. I don't sit, I try. I don't diminsh, I shine.

I love this voyage, I love my life.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

A kick to the past in the ass...

It's funny at the moment
how I fell so sweet and sound
when the facts are so much different
problem? what problem?
ghost? what ghost?
I've been struggling and fighting something
that is not there and never will be...
The past is what made me what I am today...
It's like a foundation, thank god I have so much light because of that
what still hurts though is all the things that were real,
all that was shared,
the second in time when everything stood still,
the touch of the finger on the back of your neck
in the right place at the moment it had to be...
the words of counsel and disbelivef
the depth of the eyes while holding a sweaty palm,
the request of a lifetime.... which the answer to is yes
the hidden smile,
the soothing of the heart
the caress on the cheek
the curious inquiry..
the pull between us...


my walk is dull
and I my sight is down
as I live and live on
but everything seems gray..

I miss the rain, and the fresh air..

halls of hollow...
blue nets of sorrow..

to find a courtyard of sky and pearl
a tower to watch wide and far,
and a balcony, to step out of and fly...

..to my special someone.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Of the things that come to mind #5

I shall take another layer of myself off,
and as I open up an old dusty curtain of my stuck window that will not open,
you'll be able to look at all of the walls I've put within myself,
a wall of piled blue bricks,
with nothing between them but the pressure of themselves, one upon another...
I've built it my self without realizing it,
I've put it up, and I don't know how to take it down...

And it's not the only one,
there's a few more of false pretexts that wear me down,
today, shadows move past me, but I do not who makes them,
I see a ledge, but it cannot be reached,
I exhale a greeting, but it's just a hollow on the crest.
I transpire what I need, and what I keep is more like a weed...

I have a grasp on a thick rope, but no matter how much I pull,
It always feels loose..
I've been painted on a portrait in which I don't belong in, and it's not a place I want to be...
I write a bunch of nonsense, but in minutes means nothing to me,
putting myself under a shade is no good to me, because I want to be in the rain,
and I try to give life to these letters but then again...
I'm always trying to fool myself..

Sunday, November 06, 2005

On a piece of the path...

I know it's just a piece of the path I must face.
I walk under a shadow of revelations and hidden intentions.
It's something I must get through.
It's just cold and desolate.
With shards of wind that cut my skin and
the ache within that burns real deep...

I will get through...
...this piece of the path.
I'm just angry and hurt..
that's all...
f-ing angry and hurt....
VanSadsmaller