Event Data Dump: 1145232300000@127.0.0.1

#Unknow>Ping Carnator.Cell.Number()
c4rn470r\.Raise Inbound Comm Packet Alert;
c4rn470r\.Execute Trace Comm Packet;
Warning: Unknow@1C1172FE3 has requested Ping Notification.
c4rn470r\.Execute whoIS 1C1172FE3 >> Pong -trace;
c4rn470r\.Notice Timeout set to "Minimum" @1145232420000;
..
..
c4rn470r\.Raise Inbound Comm Packet Alert;
c4rn470r\.Execute Scan Comm Packet.content();
Notice Results: No Id Header. Messege Content - Relevant. Re-quest Carnator;
Warning: Unrequested Carnator.MainThread.Escalation Detected.
c4rn470r\.Execute Pong "Pings Recieved" >> Conclude.Handshake -mode:Courteous;
..
..
c4rn470r\.Raise Inbound Comm Packet Alert;
c4rn470r\.Notice Anonymous Handshake finished;
c4rn470r\.Notice Timeout set to "Immediate" @1145232840000;
Carnator.MainThread.Sleep.Resume;

Shoutout..

You've got the future on your side
You're gonna be fine now
I know whatever you decide
You're gonna shine

Tear down these walls for me
Stop me from going under
You are the only one who knows
I'm holding back

I walk beside you
Wherever you are
Whatever it takes
No matter how far

Through all that may come
And all that may go
I walk beside you
I walk beside you

Pineapple.. go figure...

I got tucked in,
I closed my eyes and you talked to me..
I could see you and right before I went to sleep
I sliped off right after your sweet pineapple kiss..


and I confess, I've never had such a sweet dream sleep...

It's almost perfect

Today is almost perfect,
it's cloudy but it's not raining,
I'm in shape, but sick,
My game is on, but it's held back...

Everything is perfect,
My job rules, but I still desire more,
My skill kicks ass but it's unexploited,
My eyesight is 15/20, but I can't see..
My wings are unharnessed, but won't take off...

There is something missing..
Just my one final piece.

Of love, madness and hope

"I never thought love could be like this...
I never expected this type of love...
I've never been happier...
I love you.."


Sorry.. I just don't belive this bull shit right now, but I got to keep practicing for when it happens...

Today

God damn it.. a lot happened today, it was supposed to be a good day, I mean, it rained.. but noooo, I had to stay in the freaking office until like 10 o'clock trying to get a damn pie chart working.. so frustrating when there is no documentation... grrr..
At least I became a Master Ninja in NG today.. only after 3 months, and my score put me in the top 40 in Xbox Live world wide.. cool..

zip!

One of my days..

When I woke up today, I something felt right. I looked out the window and it was very cloudy. Later on, I was outside and then I knew it was one of my days... it was raining! It's been so long since it rained, and as I sit at the office looking out the window I feel like this is on of my days. Now I procede to go out for coffee.. perfect weather.. I love it..

Pain?

“The only reward from pain is experience.”

- Aeschylus

For you friend...

Los hombres son como los vitrales, brillan y resplandecen cuando los ilumina el sol; Sin embargo, cuando cae la oscuridad, su verdadera belleza se revela solamente si hay luz interior.

E. KR

Don't lose your shine friend...

Hola Luna

Hola luna, hoy me hablas, te asomas por la ventana encima de mi puerta y me buscas un mio suspiro...
Te digo: "Hoy no tengo, y los que tenia ayer ya se han ido..."
Vete por ahora, que no te requiero, no tengo inspiracion, ahorita no tengo consuelo.
Acaso no ves la yaga que aun brota con fervor de colera?
Ahora me duele mucho, y el frio no me sana, pero entumece...
Mis pies lloran desnudos y le solicitan a las manos un descanso,
Aun no encuentro el placer de estar afuera y lejos,
pero si se que el dolor no es etereo y que bien vale cualquier esfuerzo.
Suelta ya, que no me dejas respirar, deja ya de soñar,
mis alas no son para atar ni tu luz para deslumbrar.
Voltea a otro lado, haz mi camino mas sencillo,
que verte me quita un suspiro.

A time to reminisce.

Free style...
Shit, for some goddamn reason I feel like shit, and it's funny how these last weeks I've been running at night and I know it's kinda cold... I don't feel the cold at all. I've gone to the court after sunset, I take of my sweatshirt, I know it's freezing, but I don't feel it. Right now my house is cold as hell, and I feel fine... I'm not sick, I just feel angry right now.. I have no clue! yeah, I do feel sad, and I'm fucking writing about it! How I wish.. how I wish there was something to kick right now. I must confess, I'm human.. I do regret... I fail constantly... I quit things I should finish.. I should not need to have pressure to get something done... I must confess, last year a door was opened I did not know it existed, now I hate, now I resent, now I blame... AAAAAHHH!!! WTF is this? I remember my dreams now, *sarcastically* heh... "dreams are the window to enlighment"... here's some enlightment, lonelyness burns like hell! and I'm such a skeptic because, it really is love that heals, not time, and I need a healer... anyone?
I need to GTFO of this place! I must aquire ghost killing skills, I wish I could just rip my heart out... you see, there's this thing cleaved in it, let me introduce you to it:
-this is "Why?".
-"Why?", this is: (your name here).
You've been acquanted... Now, this little booger has been around quite some time and right now it's kicking ass... my ass in particular. At times, it's very friendly and useful too, right now it's just bitchy... what an interesting word, I can collocate it with so many things, and the connotations with it too... for some reason it evokes people's names in particular, whooo, what a list.. too long for this post, but let's not go there. Ahh, this rant has been really soothing... I feel like... well, let's just say I feel better.. it's like that time in highschool, "..I just don't give a fuck!"

letter

Hey you...
I've seen you outside and felt the cold air hit you in the face,
as you ran, no distance changed between where you were and where you need to be.
Back to the old ways for an old illness and do please weedout that nasty root,
do please reach and don't stop this time, as the road is before you but you don't want to take.
Won't you fly like a free bird?
Where is your head I placed so long ago?
Because the tear you shed is only your caged reflection.
Has the gravity of your memories worn you out?
Hey, wake up!

Clo5e to Today..

On day like today..
maybe colder, but nice...
good coffee, good conver5ation..
good memorie5..
5o many laugh5..
I mi55 that..
the 5tart of it all, and a year ha5 pa5t, there'5 nothing I can regret, but many thing5 to thank...
and i5 not looking too much back, but it'5 definetly made me 5ome of what I am...
how I wi5h... the day would everla5t...

Yet another piece of mind...

It's love that heals.. not time.

New Year's

Ever wonder how is it possible that so many people perform rituals in hope of getting better luck in wealth, health, love? Cuz to me, I find really hard to belive that the color of undergarment one might wear on New Year's will have an influence on the next year of my life... as if the color red in my undies will dictaminate how well I will do in love life... or whether my ability to go on a vacation trip depended on the ritual of getting out of my house with suitcases and running around the block once on New Year's eve... I mean, really!? I think it would be cool if it were like that, you know? we all would have perfect relationships, and poverty wouldn't exist.. cool, huh? Unfortunately, for an skeptic like me, the real world works under a different order. Red underwear doesn't make you have better relationships, it just makes you feel more sexy, and depending on the type, makes a fine lady über-sexy... Running arround your block with suitcases doesn't make you look too stupid, just like your late for something... go figure.
Anyways, I just want to wish everyone I know and like and love a good New Year and hope for the best this 2006... and a recommendation (another rant): Don't make any New Year's resolutions or purposes, they are like diets. They work at the begining, but as soon as the diet is over you go back to your usual habits and to where you started when you began the diet. So don't diet, do excersice, change your habits, re-invent yourself. So translated, don't make resolutions, make New Year's convictions... It's kinda like the difference between a promise and an oath.. one is much stronger and your more deeply bound to it.
Best Wishes!