Oh my anger.

In a small moment of reminiscence while listening to the Issues album by Korn, I realized that I was very angry when I was a teenager yet I never showed it openly, only through some drawings or verbal fights with my dad. I think it's interesting how I didn't realize it before but I guess it's the perk of hindsight. I guess basketball helped as a release since I was a little obsessed with it back then, never missed a practice, never missed a game and I would play anytime I could.

P.S. ..and I thought I could not remember more about my earlier days.

I remember

I remember how I played the game. At first it was very hard, I had no idea what I was doing. Some how I learned how to detach myself from my own emotional limitations. With that came a self awareness which at first was honest and curious. It yielded very good results.

Yet I was seduced by the game itself and eventually became the what I loathed. Like a taste of forbidden fruit, once you have it, everything changes. I then chose to look away from the mirror and did not see the gemini for a long time. Now that I have, I realize the depth and consequence of my actions. Almost as if a new vision, a new experience, a new world has opened. If only I would have wanted to look, I would have seen it before.

This road is interesting yet somewhat desolate. Like a mountain, the higher you go, the more harsh it can be. However, the view is wide and open. I no longer feel like I'm just wandering and drifting.

I'm climbing and there is lots to do.